Yesterday, I read some kids' letters to Santa that were published in a small town Texas newspaper. I don't know anyone who can produce better comedy than kids. Check out this letter (any apparent typos/misspellings are the work of this kid):
"Dear Santa, Hello How are You? today and what I want like a forir to the and I like the I like has a grat chresma and or randes I to go in the like has. and the ask wat you do in the nothpole"
Here's another good one:
"Dear Santa, this is Ethan the one who asked for a dirtbike ever since he was five years old. I know that you probly don't know what a dirtbike is. I will tell you soon. Will you please listin why I whant a dirtbike. Two years ago a mounth before Christmas my uncle promised that I will get one. Then a year later he asked my grandma for some mony. Then ensted of bying me a dirtbike he bought something else. Did you know that my old teatcher told a story about you. She sad tha all her doors had doble loks and that nobydy could get in so it was santa clas. Let me tell what a dirtbike is. It is kind of like a bike but it takes gas and has a moter. It also takes fuel. I expeshly a lot faster. So will you please get me a dirtbike that will be rill thankful of you. I will do eny thing I'll even come and help you make toys. Thank you for listning to my story"
This letter was also unsigned. I can't fight the feeling that the "something else" this kid's uncle bought with grandma's money was cigarettes. Who knows?
This last one is my favorite:
"Dear Santa, how is the eers? I hope there werm. I do not rilly nowe if I have bin that good this year. In the latr you sent to me you sed I was good. I don't rilly know it thats troo. I just hope I am. Your friend, Kaitlyn
Finally, a kid who doesn't try to sugar coat everything for Santa. I think her battle with her conscience merits a visit from the Big Man. While all the other kids talk about how good they've been, citing such accomplishments as "I only hit my sister a couple of times this year" as grounds for getting a Playstation 3, this girl is just hoping she's going to make the cut and avoid a lump of coal. I hope she gets what she wants for Christmas.
Say, that reminds me--Since there's a chance I may not post again before Monday, I hope you and yours have a great Christmas, and that you get everything you were hoping for. Except that Playstation 3. Man, you're greedy.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment