Today, as my parents, my wife, my son, and I were coming home from the local grocer, I heard my wife, who was in the back seat sitting next to our 16-month-old son, say, "Come here, buddy. I want to smell your butt." I thought, "Now there's something I'm glad I never heard my mom say." What she meant (I hope) was, "Come here, buddy. I need to determine whether or not you've had a recent bowel movement that will necessitate a change of your diaper."
It just struck me as funny when she said it, since I had been talking to my mom, and just happened to hear this little snippet from the back seat. Anyway, I thought of a few more phrases I'm glad I never heard my mom say. Here's a sampling:
"Would you ask your date if she'd mind filing down my bunions?"
"I need some help straightening up the meth lab this afternoon."
"What!? You threw the jar away? I've been saving those boogers for 23 years!"
and my personal favorite,
"You take that diaper off your head, and you put it back on your sister!"
Anyway, I'm just glad that my mom was a good, non-weird mom, and that my wife is such a good, non-weird mom to my son, despite any comments she may have made that may (or may not) have been taken out of context by yours truly. Thanks, ladies!
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5 comments:
every time i'm about to embark on a road trip, i'm glad no mom has ever told me or my road trip buddies, "well, if you die, we'll bury you next to grandma."
oh wait...
don't make fun of my mom.
and anyway- she also says that she'll do all that and "put you in your clean undies". get your story straight.
oh MG- you slay me!
You forgot "Hey MG, can I bum a dip?"
my mom told my brother once, "you got a bee up your butt, and I don't know what it is!" I think she mixed up two sayings: 1)you have a bee in your bonnet, and 2)you have a stick up your butt. My mom is so cute.
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